[He's puzzling over that question (or how to word his response) by the time Nier arrives. As he hears the squeak of the rickety panelled door sliding open he abandons, putting his pocketwatch back in his pocket. And he stands, pulling the coverings that turn a bench into his makeshift bed back over it.
And.]
Thanks. You didn't have to. You know.
[A slight raise of said bento to indicate his point. He says that, of course. Even means it. But fuck if some part of him isn't... actually kind of happy he got something. Nier's... pretty good at lunches. Even if his are weird.
...And it just feels better eating something he's made rather than stashing something's leg in a bag.]
I know. But I wanted to. It’s important to me that you’re taken care of.
[ not that cloud will want to hear that — but it’s the truth. nier crosses the balcony, pressing the small of his back against the railing. there’s a good distance between him and cloud, and his hand moves to rub at the back of his head. ]
[He pauses, smally, before exhaling. His gaze moves down to the lunchbox before his hand tightens around it. ....And he stares. Then he puts it down. And he approaches the railing himself.
He keeps his distance though- choosing to stay a few steps away from him. And as Nier rests his back against the railing, he instead chooses to lean his front against it. He looks out into the night sky, clasping his hands in front of him.]
[Ugh. He's... just going to take a minute. A long minute, to try and order his thoughts into something a) consise b) not hurtful and c) doesn't make him sound like a complete sap.
How's that going? Well...]
I didn't... really like it. [His eyes flash toward Nier. Quickly.] I mean- I did. Of course I did. It's just...
[Try again.]
That was forced. If it was those flowers, all I wanted to do was. ....You know. [A stumbling block. Great.] Havesexwithyou.
[A breath.]
Could've been anyone. You weren't important. Only thing that was important was .... [Fucking something. Anything.]
...What I'm trying to say is it wasn't... horrible. But I prefer it when it's more... [Natural.] ...You know. I like you. I like feeling you. I like finding out what you like. Not just screwing you because you're there.
[...]
...I like you, is what I'm saying. ...Everything about being with you. That was just sex. And that's why I'm embarrassed about it.
[ he lets cloud speak — there are some bits where he visibly tenses, even if his expression doesn’t distort overly. it isn’t hard to see the corners of his lips pulling down into a frown, or the anxious cross of his heels. his shoulders square and stiffen, and after cloud is done, they lower into something more relaxed; a quiet breath escapes him, and he pulls his fringe back. ]
Even if the flowers made me...different, I wouldn’t have done that with anyone else. The truth is, I would have killed them before I let them touch me.
[ his features turn more benign, loosening as he speaks — and processes exactly what cloud is saying. ]
I like you, too. And I trust you. I didn’t know if I could do...this kind of thing. Have sex at all, I mean... But it’s different with you. Because...it’s you.
That’s why I don’t really care if anyone saw. If they know that you’re special to me, it isn’t my problem.
[That's twice he's said that now. About killing. His eyebrows crease, just slightly- and yes, that's being filed away somewhere- in the Things To Ask Later pile. But for now...
He moves a little closer.]
I'm the same. [Normally.] ...You're important to me. I don't think I could, with anyone else. [Normally.] Definitely not want to, anyway. But you're different. You're... really weird. But that's not just it. I don't think there's anyone like you. In any world. Sure as hell not mine.
[An arm's extended along the railing between the pair of them. If Nier wants he can meet it with his own. If not, it'd just linger.]
...But that's why I want to be selfish about it. I want whatever happens between us to stay between us. Not for some asshole drunk off his ass on magic flowers, or spiked booze or poisoned chocolates to walk in on and figure we're some kind of show.
[ fortunately for them both, nier reaches forward to fill the gap. gingerly, his fingers settle into cloud’s palm, skin against skin as he entwines their hands. ]
You’re weird too. But that’s why I like you. [ the smile he offers is easy, and earnest down to every muscle. ] We’ll be more careful next time. But whoever saw, they know that I’m yours now. [ a laugh, small and brisk. ] That isn’t so bad, is it?
[Despite the fact his palm is open, the night is cold, the chill of Nier's fingers cuts through it. He shivers. Just slightly at the temperature shock of his touch, but it's a welcome feeling. Nier's coldness is about the only thing that can make him feel that way- and the warmth of his smile and his words more than makes up for it.]
...Guess not.
[His fingers close around the other's hand, and he feels them warm. Instantly.]
...Yeah. Kind of slept like shit today anyway. Uh, we could get a few hours before we go do stuff later. If you want.
[That depended on, well, how pressing Nier's errands were. Or how many of them he's got to fit into a night. So yeah. Agree or decline, it's probably more a matter of scheduling than actually wanting, or not wanting to.
[ nier’s grip on cloud’s hand tightens, just a little. and then bashfully — he turns his gaze away, pink tarnishing the paleness of his cheeks. ]
We could do a few things...I can make you dinner. Or we could spar. Or head to my room and rest together. Or...go on a date. [ it’s the first time he’s used that word in earnes. ] So long as it’s with you, I’m happy.
...Only Cloud raises his eyes, eventually- even if the sight of Nier's face ....and the blush on it, causes his gaze to drop down. Almost instantly. Likewise, his hand tightens.]
Lunch and dinner. Uh...
[Could he get fat? This sure seems a way to see. ...Probably not. But.]
It's okay. You've got things to do, right? So you shouldn't be running around after me.
[Sparring sounded good though. ...Problem was, so did the rest of it. Which... isn't really that helpful, huh.]
Katanas? [There's a note of curiosity in his voice. And it seems he's about to choose that, but-]
I got another idea. We can spar after work.
[Something to look forward to. And something to wind them both down.]
... I could, uh, make it up to you instead. The stuff from yesterday.
[ it's the asian caretaker in him trying to overfeed you, cloud. a love language in of itself. ]
I do — but they can wait. I'm not in a hurry.
[ quietly, he shuffles an inch closer. and then there's another step, until their shoulders are aligned, and he's peering right into the saturated blues of cloud's yees. ]
A date, then. [ one that doesn't go in the direction of feeling-less fucking. right. ] A real one.
[ and then he leans forward, puncuating that statement with a brief kiss to the corner of cloud's mouth. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[He's puzzling over that question (or how to word his response) by the time Nier arrives. As he hears the squeak of the rickety panelled door sliding open he abandons, putting his pocketwatch back in his pocket. And he stands, pulling the coverings that turn a bench into his makeshift bed back over it.
And.]
Thanks. You didn't have to. You know.
[A slight raise of said bento to indicate his point. He says that, of course. Even means it. But fuck if some part of him isn't... actually kind of happy he got something. Nier's... pretty good at lunches. Even if his are weird.
...And it just feels better eating something he's made rather than stashing something's leg in a bag.]
no subject
[ not that cloud will want to hear that — but it’s the truth. nier crosses the balcony, pressing the small of his back against the railing. there’s a good distance between him and cloud, and his hand moves to rub at the back of his head. ]
You didn’t answer my question.
no subject
[He pauses, smally, before exhaling. His gaze moves down to the lunchbox before his hand tightens around it. ....And he stares. Then he puts it down. And he approaches the railing himself.
He keeps his distance though- choosing to stay a few steps away from him. And as Nier rests his back against the railing, he instead chooses to lean his front against it. He looks out into the night sky, clasping his hands in front of him.]
....Promise me you're not gonna laugh.
no subject
I won’t.
no subject
[Ugh. He's... just going to take a minute. A long minute, to try and order his thoughts into something a) consise b) not hurtful and c) doesn't make him sound like a complete sap.
How's that going?
Well...]
I didn't... really like it. [His eyes flash toward Nier. Quickly.] I mean- I did. Of course I did. It's just...
[Try again.]
That was forced. If it was those flowers, all I wanted to do was. ....You know. [A stumbling block. Great.] Havesexwithyou.
[A breath.]
Could've been anyone. You weren't important. Only thing that was important was .... [Fucking something. Anything.]
...What I'm trying to say is it wasn't... horrible. But I prefer it when it's more... [Natural.] ...You know. I like you. I like feeling you. I like finding out what you like. Not just screwing you because you're there.
[...]
...I like you, is what I'm saying. ...Everything about being with you. That was just sex. And that's why I'm embarrassed about it.
no subject
Even if the flowers made me...different, I wouldn’t have done that with anyone else. The truth is, I would have killed them before I let them touch me.
[ his features turn more benign, loosening as he speaks — and processes exactly what cloud is saying. ]
I like you, too. And I trust you. I didn’t know if I could do...this kind of thing. Have sex at all, I mean... But it’s different with you. Because...it’s you.
That’s why I don’t really care if anyone saw. If they know that you’re special to me, it isn’t my problem.
no subject
He moves a little closer.]
I'm the same. [Normally.] ...You're important to me. I don't think I could, with anyone else. [Normally.] Definitely not want to, anyway. But you're different. You're... really weird. But that's not just it. I don't think there's anyone like you. In any world. Sure as hell not mine.
[An arm's extended along the railing between the pair of them. If Nier wants he can meet it with his own. If not, it'd just linger.]
...But that's why I want to be selfish about it. I want whatever happens between us to stay between us. Not for some asshole drunk off his ass on magic flowers, or spiked booze or poisoned chocolates to walk in on and figure we're some kind of show.
no subject
You’re weird too. But that’s why I like you. [ the smile he offers is easy, and earnest down to every muscle. ] We’ll be more careful next time. But whoever saw, they know that I’m yours now. [ a laugh, small and brisk. ] That isn’t so bad, is it?
[ a thumb circles against the heel of his palm. ]
Sleep next to me tonight. Please?
no subject
...Guess not.
[His fingers close around the other's hand, and he feels them warm. Instantly.]
...Yeah. Kind of slept like shit today anyway. Uh, we could get a few hours before we go do stuff later. If you want.
[That depended on, well, how pressing Nier's errands were. Or how many of them he's got to fit into a night. So yeah. Agree or decline, it's probably more a matter of scheduling than actually wanting, or not wanting to.
....But hey. You don't ask, you don't get.]
no subject
[ the words are fluid, rushing forth like a stream of water. natural, and always honest. he inches a little closer. ]
Did you have something in mind? [ said with a cant of the head. the curiosity really is innocuous despite what transpired 2 days ago. ]
no subject
His eyes drop- tellingly- at the implication behind said question- and they stay on the ground for a few seconds before he meets his gaze again.]
Don't know exactly. I just know I want to be with you for a while.
[Whatever that might entail. ...A few hours sleep, a few hours doing other stuff, or. well, more than that.]
no subject
We could do a few things...I can make you dinner. Or we could spar. Or head to my room and rest together. Or...go on a date. [ it’s the first time he’s used that word in earnes. ] So long as it’s with you, I’m happy.
no subject
holding hands and looking away from each other with red faces because there'salotoffeelingsgoingonandbothofthemaretooemotionallystuntedtodealwiththemlikenormalpeople
...Only Cloud raises his eyes, eventually- even if the sight of Nier's face ....and the blush on it, causes his gaze to drop down. Almost instantly. Likewise, his hand tightens.]
Lunch and dinner. Uh...
[Could he get fat? This sure seems a way to see. ...Probably not. But.]
It's okay. You've got things to do, right? So you shouldn't be running around after me.
[Sparring sounded good though.
...Problem was, so did the rest of it. Which... isn't really that helpful, huh.]
Katanas? [There's a note of curiosity in his voice. And it seems he's about to choose that, but-]
I got another idea. We can spar after work.
[Something to look forward to. And something to wind them both down.]
... I could, uh, make it up to you instead. The stuff from yesterday.
no subject
I do — but they can wait. I'm not in a hurry.
[ quietly, he shuffles an inch closer. and then there's another step, until their shoulders are aligned, and he's peering right into the saturated blues of cloud's yees. ]
A date, then. [ one that doesn't go in the direction of feeling-less fucking. right. ] A real one.
[ and then he leans forward, puncuating that statement with a brief kiss to the corner of cloud's mouth. ]
That sounds nice.