[ when nier does arrive, he’s neatly put together, clearly having groomed himself before his venture here. a pair of boots, a white dress shirt (open at the chest, surprisingly enough; the vanity of a vampire seems to be affecting him accordingly), high waisted black slacks, his hair bound up into a small ponytail — it’s simple, but tidy enough that there’s evidently been thought put into it.
not that he would say it himself, but one would think you would call this a “””date”””. ]
Hey. [ said with a wave of the hand and a lax smile. ] Are you ready? I see you everyday, but I can’t help but think that it’s good to see your face.
[He's not really seen Nier like this. His experience of him thusfar has been either terse- directly from a hunt or a job, more than likely covered in the bodily fluids of, or wearing various parts of something else at least somewhere on his person. Disgusting, normally- but when Nier's work ethic is taken into consideration, the fact that what made his boots squelch with every step was what other people refused to do out of fear or disgust, it's actually kind of attractive.
Otherwise, Cloud only really knew him as softer, blearier, more tired- freshly showered and dressed comfortably- casually, smelling like sleep and fatigue underneath whatever scents lingered from cleaning the day off himself. And it felt strange, almost special actually- that he of all people was actually trusted enough to see him when his (seemingly inexhaustible) tank was on empty.
Neither usual for Nier is poised. Nor controlled. He was what he was in that very moment, so this... is different. Seeing him prepared, having made a clear effort, with attire that yes, suggests that yes, this is a date, vindicates him. Makes his own choice of a lack of a shoulder pauldron, lack of a bracer, lack of belt, and lack of gloves not as stupid of an idea as it seemed when he was getting himself ready.
The slacks he chose, (not of his uniform), as well as his own shirt (again, not his uniform), are somewhat plain compared to Nier's choices. Not as elegant. Cloud's tastes, after all, had always ran to the more simple side of things. His sleeves, as such, are rolled up to the elbows for the purpose of ventilation. The only constant, really, is a set of braces. ]
Hi. [...Should he say he looks good? ...He does, but that seems.... no. His eyes lower. And.] Yeah. I heard there's an arcade somewhere. ....Uh, other than that, there's a teahouse. Some bars. Stuff like that.
[ there’s that hesitance — it’s characteristic of him at this point, and nothing that nier minds, but cloud always did behave like he was teetering off the edge, desperately holding back. he wants to coax him off of it, see what he’s clutching against his chest with such fervor.
but he looks good, yeah. he’s handsome, that’s never been much of a question in nier’s mind. and it’s a more human, vulnerable side of him, even moreso than when he’s meandering about the apartment in his pajamas and devouring fresh meat at the crack of dawn. he likes it — seeing cloud so plainly, and what exactly his own sense of style and personality has produced.
nier settles at his side, and a hand brushes against his. ]
We don’t need to decide on anything yet. [ and so he walks, beckoning cloud to follow along. ] I don’t care what we do. But I wanted you to have a normal night for once. And I wanted to spend time with you, too.
[ there’s a brightening of the eyes. ]
Let’s walk. We can figure it out as we go. [ another brush of the hand, more inviting than the last. ] What makes you happy? Or feels fun for you?
[That's... negative, isn't it? There's not really that much to say. It's not like this place has motorbikes, and even then, it's not as if other things (fighting rings and ...well, chocobos) even exist here. ...Do they?
He's not that sure about fighting rings. But it's not exactly something to do on a date.
...Is it? He's clueless.
Regardless. As Nier's hand brushes against his, his eyes move to him; the second time it does, his fingertips curl to catch Nier's own, just for a fraction of a second before they slip away. He takes a half-step closer, but he's walking. So he follows.]
I... [Small pause.] ...Sorry. Anyway, what about you? You like plants. Right? And you work, a lot.
[ cloud gingerly grasps at his hand and let’s go. fortunately, nier is here to firmly pull it back, fingers winding around cloud’s as he holds his hand properly and tightly.
if he got a punch in the face for that, so be it. it was worth taking the risk. ]
If there’s something you want to see, I’ll put in the work to make it happen.
[ just saying. his eyes flit up at the thought, however, this question always having been a difficult one for himself. ]
I like fishing. And treasure hunting. Traveling, seeing new places...the thrill you get from a good adventure or fight. But being in the company of someone I like — that’s more than enough for me.
[ and as they walk the city materializes, ritzy lighting cutting through the darkness. there’s a lineup of bars, all gleaming a different color, the faint boom of music sound through the glass; adjacent to and across from them are higher end restaurants, nightlife, everything and anything more on the metropolitan side of things. ]
[Rather than a punch, he makes a quiet, surprised sound when his hand's grabbed- his eyes darting to Nier's face again. And he lets them linger for a short while before he closes his hand around his.]
Yeah, tell me about it. I don't like this kind of thing much, either.
[Maybe it's a country thing. Both of them seemed to be from similar places, and this? It's definitely different from anything Nibelheim or Nier's village had. But even then, he's used to things like this when Nier probably isn't. It's not like this place is anything as skeevy as Wall Market, but it's about as loud.
His gaze moves away as they move, head tilting upward in order to examine all of the barfronts, and all of the lights as they pass. It's.... weird, really. The place seems old-fashioned in construction, which makes the gaudy colours seem that much more out of place. He doesn't like it either. The idea of standing around in any of those buildings and barely being able to hear Nier isn't exactly anything that strikes him as fun.]
This way.
[He's got no idea where they're going, not really. Just away from the district seems a decent enough idea- and as they eventually emerge, out of an alley into a slightly more open area where the sounds of where they've come from are faint- he turns to him again.]
I've never fished before. But I get the rest of it. I like the same kind of thing. Where I'm from- [Small pause.] ... No, never mind.
[There's a bit of a silence at that. And it should be clear he's holding something in- his body seems to lock up for a brief period, until he shakes his head and looks at him again.]
I like being around you. Even if I'm not sure why you're interested in me.
[ it’s foreign, all of it — even this city with its olden architecture had been nothing short of modern in his eyes. he lets cloud guide him, until the buildings shrink into nothingness, slowly consumed by the night sky.
cloud locks up, and nier steps closer, peering at his face. always holding back – always afraid of something, in some way it felt like. ]
Tell me more about where you’re from, one day. Even if it hurts, the truth is I’m a selfish person. So I still want to know.
[ a thumb rubs circles into the palm of cloud’s hand. ]
We’ll go fishing next time. I learned from the best there is — he was... [ a furrow of the brow. goddamn, what an awful recollection. ] a slavedriver, but he taught me all that I know. I’ll pass it onto you.
[ and as the sound of their footsteps echoes throughout the alleyway, in tandem with one another, nier tilts his head. ]
A lot of reasons. But I don’t need any of them. I want to. That’s enough for me.
[ a thicket is visible off in the distance, the greenery more alluring than ever, and somehow nier wonders if they’re always bound to end up here. ]
[It's an answer at least, and the latter one is uncomplicated, agreeable in its simplicity, and the way Nier states it is so earnest, he has no reason to believe its anything other than what he says.
The other comment, about fishing, though? That earns a question.]
Fishing's supposed to be laid back, right? [From the way Nier's eyebrow twitched, as if recalling something awful, it didn't seem that 'laid back' was the case.] If it's anything like how you're describing it, I don't want anything to do with it.
[He's only half-serious, really. But what he is serious about...]
[But if Nier learned from the best, wouldn't that make him crazy by extension? ...It's an observation. Not anything that leaves his lips of course, but just an errant thought. What does come out though-]
Alright. Then I'll give it a shot. But if you turn into a slavedriver yourself, I'm out, we're doing something else.
[Then the conversation seems to take a turn. And even in the darkness, he can see his face's expression change, perfectly. And this time, he keeps his gaze on his face. And his response is terse.]
Likewise.
[Snippish? Kind of. But it's not like he's let go of his hand. He's not closed off.]
...I haven't seen my world die. But I've done something.... no, lots of things, that mean it's going to end. Probably ended already.
[He slows to a stop, and pulls- lightly, since he doesn't want to hurt him- on Nier's arm.]
[ he certainly is crazy, but a slavedriver? not so much. he stops at the tug on his arm, and his heels pivot so he can look at cloud properly. ]
Time’s stopped here. So you still have a chance.
[ and that question...it warrants a thinning of the lips. surely, cloud would understand now — the monster he truly was. ]
Regret holds you back. Makes it hard to survive. Doesn’t bring anyone back.
What I did — I had to do it. To save my sister. To make sure they couldn’t kill us in the way they wanted to, and that we were more than their vessels. To...
Get my revenge and be free.
[ what an awful date topic. he almost wants to laugh. ]
Never look back. That’s what I told myself. It makes me a monster — but I can’t be anything else.
[The comment about fishing is met with a curt nod, because so much of what Nier says is so much more important. As he explains, he can't help but feel a chill go through him. Uncharacteristic, given his body temperature and the fact his arms are mostly covered- but real nonetheless.]
You know that for sure? How?
[Stated in regard to time stopping, of course. But.
Regret holds you back. Makes it hard to survive. Doesn't bring anyone back.
True enough. It did- But they're different people. While Nier seems eager to move on from all of his, Cloud... couldn't. It didn't feel right to. Maybe it's because Nier is stronger than him.
They're both affected though. Even if they're dealing with it in different ways.
But...
What I did — I had to do it. To save my sister. Mother, let's take the planet back together.
To make sure they couldn't kill us in the way they wanted to. That we were more than their vessels. To... ...they... those worthless creatures...
Get my revenge and be free. ...What am I supposed to be sad about?
It doesn't hurt to remember the similarities. Not now, not when it wasn't repressed- not when his mind and body weren't working against every effort he made to recall. The similarities are just sad. So sad- and he finds his hand tightening around Nier's, even though he has to be careful to not break his fingers with doing so.
The difference between them was Sephiroth wrong. Sephiroth murdered everyone he ever knew. He'd thought Tifa dead. His mother, her father, the townspeople... actually were.
Something else comes to mind.]
...Someone told me once that living's like being on a train. Can only go where its tracks take it. Sounds like yours... wasn't good.
[Shit. Did where Nier was from even from have them?]
...Point being, I've seen monsters. I don't think you're one.
I know people who have been here for awhile now. They told me.
[ another shake of the head, this one slower. what he doesn’t expect is cloud tightening his grip on his hand; nier’s eyes rove downwards, and he is taciturn, casting a glance towards cloud’s hand before noting the hurt in his eyes.
was he sad for him, he wonders? why? what was there to be sad for? ]
Even if your life was destined to end in the same way every time, it has meaning just by having existed.
I hated that once. But it’s alright now.
[ said with little feeling — it’d been a truth he numbed himself to. ]
You’re kind. Too kind, sometimes. But that’s why I know you didn’t doom your world. I hated humans. All of them...in their selfishness, they condemn us all to death before we can even begin to live.
But to me, you’re different. [ a pause. ] Everything about you is different.
It's kind of egotistic, assuming the world's gonna stop just for you.
[Nothing saying whoever told Nier that wasn't full of it. How could they know something like that? It's not as if any of them got the opportunity to dip out and go back home, just to see.
...He doesn't know. And his sentiment, at the moment, is not holding his breath, and not hoping. Not with such little information. He's about to ask who told him that- so he can get more of an idea. Hell, shake them down for it if he has to- but what Nier says next makes him stop. ]
Your life has meaning- even if you're not human. Means a lot to me, despite not knowing you that long. Must've meant a lot to other people, too.
[It's strange. If he wasn't human, what was he? Other than something some people wanted dead.
...That's a question for later. And at what he says next...]
[ at what cloud says next, the answer is simple. remarkably so. ]
Neither do you.
But you said it anyways.
[ his voice is hard — perhaps he in general had been, in all of the ways cloud wasn’t. it’s what separates a man and a monster. the ability to regret, to feel, to fear.
nier was not a frenzied child who had gone berserk at the realization that he had nothing. he was perfectly lucid, a weapon ready to kill.
when cloud’s fingers loosen, nier’s do the same, just slightly; but he follows his lead. ]
There’s somewhere I can take us. You can see the stars there.
If they turn up here, sure. I'll be first in line. Otherwise, they'd have got the message anyway.
[Not a chance in hell they weren't dead. Either by Nier's own hand (likely) or the world ending, (a certainty) they must be. In a sense, it reminds him, vaguely, of Midgar. Those of the upper plate believed that those of the lower were less. Inferior.
...But it's not anything worth mentioning. Nier's situation is different, and it won't help, so he shuts his mouth and walks on a few more steps.
Except then he opens it, as if to say something at Nier's comment that yeah, he had said something. It runs through his mind to point out that he knew something of him, and he did mean something- but...
...He shuts up. And he keeps walking, his hand finally slipping from Nier's own. Probably best to have access to his sword, if they're going out into the wilde.]
[ it isn’t especially far, fortunately — it’s a tree house, one positioned right beyond the wall. nier, for as much as he enjoyed fighting, had little intention of sullying either of their clothing. the tree towers over them, grander than a building, and there’s a wooden platform attached to it; it’s enwrapped in vines, flowers sprouting at their ends.
there’s a ladder there too, for convenience. nier starts and waves a hand to guide cloud up, right beneath him. once they settle, there are potted plants lined up along its ledge, all of which seem to be flowers in bloom. ]
I haven’t finished building it yet. It’ll be a house one day.
[ and as he promised, the stars are indeed in view. ]
I don’t have any pillows, but you can rest your head against me if you’re tired.
[ whether he’s referring to his lap or his shoulder is up to cloud. ]
[It's actually kind of impressive. Especially considering the logistics considered in hauling the rough framework of, what he can tell already, will be a house all the way up there.
He glances at it, for a long moment, before he takes the cue and starts to haul himself up the ladder. It seems safe enough. And the construction seems pretty solid.
He waits for Nier to emerge before he speaks.]
...You thinking of moving out?
[His tone pretty much gives him away. Shit. ...If he... could have not sounded quite so Concerned at that, that would been wonderful. ]
[ an honest admission. but the concern in cloud’s voice is noted, and a little unexpected too. ]
I thought you and Aerith would want some privacy. But this house isn’t for living in. Just somewhere to put my weaponry — and a refuge, for anyone who needs it.
[ lowly: ]
I don’t trust the natives of this city.
[ better to have your bases covered than not. when cloud shifts closer, nier does the same in response. ]
[He withdraws a little at that, taking a breath and folding his arms close to his chest, leaning against the treetrunk in the centre of the house. His gaze moves away- to the planters at what looks like a rudimentary, at the moment, window.]
If you want to, then I don't want to hold you back. Aerith and me...
[It's complicated.]
She's a friend. She likes having you around, anyway.
[As does he. But. He'd abandoned his effort to move closer, but since Nier was moving toward him too, they're close anyway. And he doesn't step away. Instead, he moves his gaze from the sky through the window, to him.]
I don't trust 'em either.
[In many respects. Gingerly, he half leans on Nier, not quite putting his head on his shoulder, but sort of leaning. A little. Kind of awkwardly, actually. Just about enough to feel his cold skin through the fabric of his shirt with his shoulder.]
I'm sure.
[Half-leaning on him isn't really for being tired. Or warmth. It's closeness, really. And since the prospect of Nier moving out is still on his mind...]
Could always get a bigger place, if you need more space. It's a matter of time till they catch us living like that, anyway.
I like being around you two. And making sure that you’re eating right. But if you need me out, tell me, alright?
[ nier leans back alongside him — he knows well whatever is between those two is...complicated. and not at all straightforward. it isn’t his intention to intrude, however, or force them to compromise for his sake. another reason why he’d spent the night (or day rather) at other people’s houses on occasion.
but he can hear it, anyways: cloud’s attempt at keeping them together.
when he half leans on him, nier let’s one of his arms gradually snake around cloud’s shoulder, until he’s eased him closer. it stays there, like that. ]
I’ve thought about that too. We could get a cottage. I don’t buy much these days...not outside of weaponry or armor.
We don't. [He's firm with that.] And that's not gonna change. Like I said... she likes you being around. And believe me, if you're not... she's gonna take it personally.
[The sad thing is, he's not even lying. She would.]
...And I'm out a bed if you take off.
[It'd... been, well, nice to actually sleep in one again. It's not like he can without Nier. Not when the guy works so well as a way to not overheat.
...Among other things. Which should be apparent with the way his form tenses when Nier's arm moves around his shoulders (as is his instinct), but the way he relaxes pretty quickly should be indicative of that.
He makes a small, contemplative sound when Nier mentions the cottages- leaning a little more against him.]
I've got savings too. [The amount of jobs he's been doing, more money's coming in than he knows what to do with. Especially since things on this world... well, weren't exactly interesting enough to warrant spending. Foodwise, a taste for warm flesh meant hunting. And that's as free as free gets.] If it's for something like that, you can have it all. Not like I've got anything else to spend it on.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ when nier does arrive, he’s neatly put together, clearly having groomed himself before his venture here. a pair of boots, a white dress shirt (open at the chest, surprisingly enough; the vanity of a vampire seems to be affecting him accordingly), high waisted black slacks, his hair bound up into a small ponytail — it’s simple, but tidy enough that there’s evidently been thought put into it.
not that he would say it himself, but one would think you would call this a “””date”””. ]
Hey. [ said with a wave of the hand and a lax smile. ] Are you ready? I see you everyday, but I can’t help but think that it’s good to see your face.
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Otherwise, Cloud only really knew him as softer, blearier, more tired- freshly showered and dressed comfortably- casually, smelling like sleep and fatigue underneath whatever scents lingered from cleaning the day off himself. And it felt strange, almost special actually- that he of all people was actually trusted enough to see him when his (seemingly inexhaustible) tank was on empty.
Neither usual for Nier is poised. Nor controlled. He was what he was in that very moment, so this... is different. Seeing him prepared, having made a clear effort, with attire that yes, suggests that yes, this is a date, vindicates him. Makes his own choice of a lack of a shoulder pauldron, lack of a bracer, lack of belt, and lack of gloves not as stupid of an idea as it seemed when he was getting himself ready.
The slacks he chose, (not of his uniform), as well as his own shirt (again, not his uniform), are somewhat plain compared to Nier's choices. Not as elegant. Cloud's tastes, after all, had always ran to the more simple side of things. His sleeves, as such, are rolled up to the elbows for the purpose of ventilation. The only constant, really, is a set of braces. ]
Hi. [...Should he say he looks good? ...He does, but that seems.... no. His eyes lower. And.] Yeah. I heard there's an arcade somewhere. ....Uh, other than that, there's a teahouse. Some bars. Stuff like that.
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but he looks good, yeah. he’s handsome, that’s never been much of a question in nier’s mind. and it’s a more human, vulnerable side of him, even moreso than when he’s meandering about the apartment in his pajamas and devouring fresh meat at the crack of dawn. he likes it — seeing cloud so plainly, and what exactly his own sense of style and personality has produced.
nier settles at his side, and a hand brushes against his. ]
We don’t need to decide on anything yet. [ and so he walks, beckoning cloud to follow along. ] I don’t care what we do. But I wanted you to have a normal night for once. And I wanted to spend time with you, too.
[ there’s a brightening of the eyes. ]
Let’s walk. We can figure it out as we go. [ another brush of the hand, more inviting than the last. ] What makes you happy? Or feels fun for you?
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[That's... negative, isn't it? There's not really that much to say. It's not like this place has motorbikes, and even then, it's not as if other things (fighting rings and ...well, chocobos) even exist here. ...Do they?
He's not that sure about fighting rings. But it's not exactly something to do on a date.
...Is it? He's clueless.
Regardless. As Nier's hand brushes against his, his eyes move to him; the second time it does, his fingertips curl to catch Nier's own, just for a fraction of a second before they slip away. He takes a half-step closer, but he's walking. So he follows.]
I... [Small pause.] ...Sorry. Anyway, what about you? You like plants. Right? And you work, a lot.
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if he got a punch in the face for that, so be it. it was worth taking the risk. ]
If there’s something you want to see, I’ll put in the work to make it happen.
[ just saying. his eyes flit up at the thought, however, this question always having been a difficult one for himself. ]
I like fishing. And treasure hunting. Traveling, seeing new places...the thrill you get from a good adventure or fight. But being in the company of someone I like — that’s more than enough for me.
[ and as they walk the city materializes, ritzy lighting cutting through the darkness. there’s a lineup of bars, all gleaming a different color, the faint boom of music sound through the glass; adjacent to and across from them are higher end restaurants, nightlife, everything and anything more on the metropolitan side of things. ]
These places are kind of weird.
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Yeah, tell me about it. I don't like this kind of thing much, either.
[Maybe it's a country thing. Both of them seemed to be from similar places, and this? It's definitely different from anything Nibelheim or Nier's village had. But even then, he's used to things like this when Nier probably isn't. It's not like this place is anything as skeevy as Wall Market, but it's about as loud.
His gaze moves away as they move, head tilting upward in order to examine all of the barfronts, and all of the lights as they pass. It's.... weird, really. The place seems old-fashioned in construction, which makes the gaudy colours seem that much more out of place. He doesn't like it either. The idea of standing around in any of those buildings and barely being able to hear Nier isn't exactly anything that strikes him as fun.]
This way.
[He's got no idea where they're going, not really. Just away from the district seems a decent enough idea- and as they eventually emerge, out of an alley into a slightly more open area where the sounds of where they've come from are faint- he turns to him again.]
I've never fished before. But I get the rest of it. I like the same kind of thing. Where I'm from- [Small pause.] ... No, never mind.
[There's a bit of a silence at that. And it should be clear he's holding something in- his body seems to lock up for a brief period, until he shakes his head and looks at him again.]
I like being around you. Even if I'm not sure why you're interested in me.
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cloud locks up, and nier steps closer, peering at his face. always holding back – always afraid of something, in some way it felt like. ]
Tell me more about where you’re from, one day. Even if it hurts, the truth is I’m a selfish person. So I still want to know.
[ a thumb rubs circles into the palm of cloud’s hand. ]
We’ll go fishing next time. I learned from the best there is — he was... [ a furrow of the brow. goddamn, what an awful recollection. ] a slavedriver, but he taught me all that I know. I’ll pass it onto you.
[ and as the sound of their footsteps echoes throughout the alleyway, in tandem with one another, nier tilts his head. ]
A lot of reasons. But I don’t need any of them. I want to. That’s enough for me.
[ a thicket is visible off in the distance, the greenery more alluring than ever, and somehow nier wonders if they’re always bound to end up here. ]
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[It's an answer at least, and the latter one is uncomplicated, agreeable in its simplicity, and the way Nier states it is so earnest, he has no reason to believe its anything other than what he says.
The other comment, about fishing, though? That earns a question.]
Fishing's supposed to be laid back, right? [From the way Nier's eyebrow twitched, as if recalling something awful, it didn't seem that 'laid back' was the case.] If it's anything like how you're describing it, I don't want anything to do with it.
[He's only half-serious, really. But what he is serious about...]
...You don't want to know about where I'm from.
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[ but then there’s a silence, and nier looks at him through the darkness, features turning hard — iron-like, perhaps, as he speaks. ]
You don’t either.
But you ask anyways.
[ a beat. ]
My world is a testament to everything I’ve done wrong. To the things I can’t regret, even if I wanted to. I’ve already watched it die.
Whatever you tell me won’t faze me.
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...It's an observation. Not anything that leaves his lips of course, but just an errant thought. What does come out though-]
Alright. Then I'll give it a shot. But if you turn into a slavedriver yourself, I'm out, we're doing something else.
[Then the conversation seems to take a turn. And even in the darkness, he can see his face's expression change, perfectly. And this time, he keeps his gaze on his face. And his response is terse.]
Likewise.
[Snippish? Kind of. But it's not like he's let go of his hand. He's not closed off.]
...I haven't seen my world die. But I've done something.... no, lots of things, that mean it's going to end. Probably ended already.
[He slows to a stop, and pulls- lightly, since he doesn't want to hurt him- on Nier's arm.]
How come you can't regret anything?
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[ he certainly is crazy, but a slavedriver? not so much. he stops at the tug on his arm, and his heels pivot so he can look at cloud properly. ]
Time’s stopped here. So you still have a chance.
[ and that question...it warrants a thinning of the lips. surely, cloud would understand now — the monster he truly was. ]
Regret holds you back. Makes it hard to survive. Doesn’t bring anyone back.
What I did — I had to do it. To save my sister. To make sure they couldn’t kill us in the way they wanted to, and that we were more than their vessels. To...
Get my revenge and be free.
[ what an awful date topic. he almost wants to laugh. ]
Never look back. That’s what I told myself. It makes me a monster — but I can’t be anything else.
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You know that for sure? How?
[Stated in regard to time stopping, of course. But.
Regret holds you back. Makes it hard to survive. Doesn't bring anyone back.
True enough. It did- But they're different people. While Nier seems eager to move on from all of his, Cloud... couldn't. It didn't feel right to. Maybe it's because Nier is stronger than him.
They're both affected though. Even if they're dealing with it in different ways.
But...
What I did — I had to do it. To save my sister.
Mother, let's take the planet back together.
To make sure they couldn't kill us in the way they wanted to. That we were more than their vessels. To...
...they... those worthless creatures...
Get my revenge and be free.
...What am I supposed to be sad about?
It doesn't hurt to remember the similarities. Not now, not when it wasn't repressed- not when his mind and body weren't working against every effort he made to recall. The similarities are just sad. So sad- and he finds his hand tightening around Nier's, even though he has to be careful to not break his fingers with doing so.
The difference between them was Sephiroth wrong.
Sephiroth murdered everyone he ever knew. He'd thought Tifa dead. His mother, her father, the townspeople... actually were.
Something else comes to mind.]
...Someone told me once that living's like being on a train. Can only go where its tracks take it. Sounds like yours... wasn't good.
[Shit. Did where Nier was from even from have them?]
...Point being, I've seen monsters. I don't think you're one.
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[ another shake of the head, this one slower. what he doesn’t expect is cloud tightening his grip on his hand; nier’s eyes rove downwards, and he is taciturn, casting a glance towards cloud’s hand before noting the hurt in his eyes.
was he sad for him, he wonders? why? what was there to be sad for? ]
Even if your life was destined to end in the same way every time, it has meaning just by having existed.
I hated that once. But it’s alright now.
[ said with little feeling — it’d been a truth he numbed himself to. ]
You’re kind. Too kind, sometimes. But that’s why I know you didn’t doom your world. I hated humans. All of them...in their selfishness, they condemn us all to death before we can even begin to live.
But to me, you’re different. [ a pause. ] Everything about you is different.
It’s why I like you.
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[Nothing saying whoever told Nier that wasn't full of it. How could they know something like that? It's not as if any of them got the opportunity to dip out and go back home, just to see.
...He doesn't know. And his sentiment, at the moment, is not holding his breath, and not hoping. Not with such little information. He's about to ask who told him that- so he can get more of an idea. Hell, shake them down for it if he has to- but what Nier says next makes him stop. ]
Your life has meaning- even if you're not human. Means a lot to me, despite not knowing you that long. Must've meant a lot to other people, too.
[It's strange. If he wasn't human, what was he? Other than something some people wanted dead.
...That's a question for later. And at what he says next...]
You don't know what happened.
[He loosens his fingers, eager to move on.]
We shouldn't linger around here.
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[ at what cloud says next, the answer is simple. remarkably so. ]
Neither do you.
But you said it anyways.
[ his voice is hard — perhaps he in general had been, in all of the ways cloud wasn’t. it’s what separates a man and a monster. the ability to regret, to feel, to fear.
nier was not a frenzied child who had gone berserk at the realization that he had nothing. he was perfectly lucid, a weapon ready to kill.
when cloud’s fingers loosen, nier’s do the same, just slightly; but he follows his lead. ]
There’s somewhere I can take us. You can see the stars there.
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[Not a chance in hell they weren't dead. Either by Nier's own hand (likely) or the world ending, (a certainty) they must be. In a sense, it reminds him, vaguely, of Midgar. Those of the upper plate believed that those of the lower were less. Inferior.
...But it's not anything worth mentioning. Nier's situation is different, and it won't help, so he shuts his mouth and walks on a few more steps.
Except then he opens it, as if to say something at Nier's comment that yeah, he had said something. It runs through his mind to point out that he knew something of him, and he did mean something- but...
...He shuts up. And he keeps walking, his hand finally slipping from Nier's own. Probably best to have access to his sword, if they're going out into the wilde.]
Sounds good. Lead on.
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there’s a ladder there too, for convenience. nier starts and waves a hand to guide cloud up, right beneath him. once they settle, there are potted plants lined up along its ledge, all of which seem to be flowers in bloom. ]
I haven’t finished building it yet. It’ll be a house one day.
[ and as he promised, the stars are indeed in view. ]
I don’t have any pillows, but you can rest your head against me if you’re tired.
[ whether he’s referring to his lap or his shoulder is up to cloud. ]
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He glances at it, for a long moment, before he takes the cue and starts to haul himself up the ladder. It seems safe enough. And the construction seems pretty solid.
He waits for Nier to emerge before he speaks.]
...You thinking of moving out?
[His tone pretty much gives him away. Shit.
...If he... could have not sounded quite so Concerned at that, that would been wonderful. ]
...I'm not tired.
[But he's moving closer anyway.]
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[ an honest admission. but the concern in cloud’s voice is noted, and a little unexpected too. ]
I thought you and Aerith would want some privacy. But this house isn’t for living in. Just somewhere to put my weaponry — and a refuge, for anyone who needs it.
[ lowly: ]
I don’t trust the natives of this city.
[ better to have your bases covered than not. when cloud shifts closer, nier does the same in response. ]
Are you sure?
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[He withdraws a little at that, taking a breath and folding his arms close to his chest, leaning against the treetrunk in the centre of the house. His gaze moves away- to the planters at what looks like a rudimentary, at the moment, window.]
If you want to, then I don't want to hold you back. Aerith and me...
[It's complicated.]
She's a friend. She likes having you around, anyway.
[As does he. But.
He'd abandoned his effort to move closer, but since Nier was moving toward him too, they're close anyway. And he doesn't step away. Instead, he moves his gaze from the sky through the window, to him.]
I don't trust 'em either.
[In many respects. Gingerly, he half leans on Nier, not quite putting his head on his shoulder, but sort of leaning. A little. Kind of awkwardly, actually. Just about enough to feel his cold skin through the fabric of his shirt with his shoulder.]
I'm sure.
[Half-leaning on him isn't really for being tired. Or warmth. It's closeness, really.
And since the prospect of Nier moving out is still on his mind...]
Could always get a bigger place, if you need more space. It's a matter of time till they catch us living like that, anyway.
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[ nier leans back alongside him — he knows well whatever is between those two is...complicated. and not at all straightforward. it isn’t his intention to intrude, however, or force them to compromise for his sake. another reason why he’d spent the night (or day rather) at other people’s houses on occasion.
but he can hear it, anyways: cloud’s attempt at keeping them together.
when he half leans on him, nier let’s one of his arms gradually snake around cloud’s shoulder, until he’s eased him closer. it stays there, like that. ]
I’ve thought about that too. We could get a cottage. I don’t buy much these days...not outside of weaponry or armor.
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[The sad thing is, he's not even lying. She would.]
...And I'm out a bed if you take off.
[It'd... been, well, nice to actually sleep in one again. It's not like he can without Nier. Not when the guy works so well as a way to not overheat.
...Among other things. Which should be apparent with the way his form tenses when Nier's arm moves around his shoulders (as is his instinct), but the way he relaxes pretty quickly should be indicative of that.
He makes a small, contemplative sound when Nier mentions the cottages- leaning a little more against him.]
I've got savings too. [The amount of jobs he's been doing, more money's coming in than he knows what to do with. Especially since things on this world... well, weren't exactly interesting enough to warrant spending. Foodwise, a taste for warm flesh meant hunting. And that's as free as free gets.] If it's for something like that, you can have it all. Not like I've got anything else to spend it on.